Youtube comments have always provided an avenue for venting one's unfiltered steam of consciousness or general feelings on a specific subject. Mutual appreciators of a certain video have a unique opportunity to broadcast their thoughts in an unbiased, like-minded environment of relative anonymity. Obviously the haters of the world will always opt for a verbal defenestration of whatever comes their way is anyone's guess, (I imagine Freudian butt piracy or some such but that will be the topic of another post) but that hasn't stopped many a fan from posting his or her honest thoughts. I offer you a small sample gleaned from a quick glance through several of my favorite Techno/Trance/Rave tunes:
Infected Mushroom - Vicious Delicious - "Heavyweight"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXjNB43WRBk)
"Many times on very high cocktails of drugs I have had psychosis to this track. Like pure brain error. "
"Baked or fucked up drunk, what matters is that this is a modern symphony "
"Listening to this if like having a fight against your body to avoid cumming. But at the end you will cum and wet your pants....no matter what you do..... "
DJ Tiesto - "Adajio for strings"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcrN06Oo4so)
"Id be fuckin rolling face here holy shit. AMAZING!!! "
"i just shpunkened everywhere!"
"this guy is awesome!!! ahhh fuck i think i just skeeted in my jeans!! :-0 "
Armin Van Buuren - "Imagine"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGC-rhzXg70)
"The part with piano was like bullets to my mind :O Armin 4 Life !"
"Relaxed, Hands in the air, Let Go, Embrace, Love, Laugh, Dance, No Stress, No Worry, Release, Washed up in clear water of music that comes from Armin Van Buuren"
Now don't get me wrong, I love my Trance as much as the next Eurotrashophile in line however, these people experience music on a totally different plane than I do. I feel like I've spent my whole life on my 13-speed schwinn, assuming hitting 50 on a steep downhill was the climax the world was built for, then having some scatter-brained technofreak scream by me with an intercontinental ballistic missile rammed up his ass exclaiming, "PURE BRAIN ERROR! I JUST SKEETED MY JEANS".
I take my musical taste seriously enough to consider myself more than your typical dilettante however, it appears my knowledge is not the shortcoming in my musical experience but rather the physical acceptance and resulting expression. I have been privy to many a mind-bending musical experience but never to the jean shpunkening level these listeners seem to enjoy their tunes.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
People we can all aspire to: The Techno Viking
Germany's 2000 occurrence of Fuckparade, Berlin's counterculture alternative protest to its yearly "Love Parade", saw an entirely unique anomaly on a scale never again attainable in the future of human kind. Fuckparade is known for it's techno and Drum n' Bass beats echoing from parked vans and 3rd story sound systems, during which those protesting the heavily commercialized Love Parade can choose to express themselves through dance in honor of Berlin's true soul.
In 2000, a relatively minor altercation began when a bluehaired raver found herself in the path of a Dionysian stumble. The drunk would not back off and something sinister seemed in the making however, a miracle came to pass. A man, nay, a demi-god, to this day known only as Techno Viking split the altercation up and sent the wayward drunk on his way with a menacing stare that could make Chuck Norris soil his umpteenth degree blackbelt. The Techno Viking then proceeded to dance his way down the street in a manner I will leave it to the video to describe. Regardless he, represents something we can all look up to, demonstrating his candid chivalry, stalwart uprightness and a desire to dance no matter how absurd one's move set may be.
Enjoy:
Our Feature Presentation
In 2000, a relatively minor altercation began when a bluehaired raver found herself in the path of a Dionysian stumble. The drunk would not back off and something sinister seemed in the making however, a miracle came to pass. A man, nay, a demi-god, to this day known only as Techno Viking split the altercation up and sent the wayward drunk on his way with a menacing stare that could make Chuck Norris soil his umpteenth degree blackbelt. The Techno Viking then proceeded to dance his way down the street in a manner I will leave it to the video to describe. Regardless he, represents something we can all look up to, demonstrating his candid chivalry, stalwart uprightness and a desire to dance no matter how absurd one's move set may be.
Enjoy:
Our Feature Presentation
Friday, July 2, 2010
Wakeup Tuneage
I take my mornings very seriously. 8 hours of sleep, 10oz of tropicana and a sufficiently sugary cereal all compose the day's overture, and if disturbed, can wreck havoc on my psyche and physical state alike. I firmly believe the moment of awakening, the casting off the warm ocean of sleep, paints your entire day. Rising next to a bonnie lass, rays of sunlight etching your field of vision and to the smell and sound of sizzling bacon will surely cast your entire day in resplendence. The feeling of levity will undoubtedly last through your entire 9-5 grind.
Now that being said, my radio station of choice needs to reevaluate it's 7:30am tune selection. I have, over the last three days been woken up to:
1) Pitbull - "Calle Ocho" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2tMV96xULk
2) MC hammer- "U Can't touch this" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo
3) Outhere Brothers - "Boom Boom Boom" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqHQ_wWbG9Y
These three songs, although quality tunes in their own right, call into question both the sense of humor and mental state of this station's morning DJ. Pitbull is by no means considered early morning tuneage by any stretch of the imagination and lead me to believe that he DJ's song selection fell under the influence of something other than popular request.
Now that being said, my radio station of choice needs to reevaluate it's 7:30am tune selection. I have, over the last three days been woken up to:
1) Pitbull - "Calle Ocho" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2tMV96xULk
2) MC hammer- "U Can't touch this" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo
3) Outhere Brothers - "Boom Boom Boom" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqHQ_wWbG9Y
These three songs, although quality tunes in their own right, call into question both the sense of humor and mental state of this station's morning DJ. Pitbull is by no means considered early morning tuneage by any stretch of the imagination and lead me to believe that he DJ's song selection fell under the influence of something other than popular request.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Elicits an Emotional Response: Weightroom Fixtures
Subgenres of weightroom regulars that elicit some sort of emotional response:
1)The dude with the army crewcut banging out his 50th handstand pushup.
2)Christian bodybuilders sporting shredded and possibly bloodied, "God is a weightlifter" or "Let Jesus do the work" shirts. I've conquered my fear and befriended several of them but still.
3)Wizened older gents who hyperextend everything they can in an effort to lift 100 more pounds than they should.
4)Red headed beast chicks who can out squat me by greater than 100 pounds.
5)Those attached to huge pulsating forehead veins. Vein must be raised from forehead by at least a pencil's width to qualify.
6)The perfectly spheroid angry guy who swears at me under his breath because I'm doing lunges on the walking track. Lunging is walking you rotund bastard and either way, it's a freakin' three lane track.
1)The dude with the army crewcut banging out his 50th handstand pushup.
2)Christian bodybuilders sporting shredded and possibly bloodied, "God is a weightlifter" or "Let Jesus do the work" shirts. I've conquered my fear and befriended several of them but still.
3)Wizened older gents who hyperextend everything they can in an effort to lift 100 more pounds than they should.
4)Red headed beast chicks who can out squat me by greater than 100 pounds.
5)Those attached to huge pulsating forehead veins. Vein must be raised from forehead by at least a pencil's width to qualify.
6)The perfectly spheroid angry guy who swears at me under his breath because I'm doing lunges on the walking track. Lunging is walking you rotund bastard and either way, it's a freakin' three lane track.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Survey Results
A midget on fire is:
45% Hilarious
29% Appalling
14% A Poignant Commentary on the Human Condition
7% Arousing
5% Ironic
If you were featured in a news headline defending your family from an armed intruder, you would like to be quoted as subduing him with:
40% A hand-crank egg beater
33% A match and mouthful of Bacardi 151
6% A Macintosh Mighty Mouse
5% A vinyl of Led Zeppelin IV
If you could make one automotive annoyance an offense punishable by public flogging you would choose:
40% Driving slowly in the left lane
29% Rubbernecking
24% Any unacceptable action performed while on the cell phone
7% Putting on your turn signal after you've begun your turn
If you sat down at your favorite restaurant to find the entree of the day is a Human Heart kabob, you would:
36% Ignore it but stay
26% Get One
19% Reverse psychology your date into getting one and try his/hers
19% Leave immediately, notifying the authorities
You would rather extremely talented at:
71% Parkour / General Ninjistics
19% Breakdancing
10% Flatland Skateboarding
You find being Rickrolled:
51% Still Pretty Funny
39% Meh
5% Orgasmic
5% Vomit Inducing
For the zombie uprising you'd prefer to dish out a plethora of zombie ass-kicking with the following armament (assume a surplus of ammunition although reload time must be considered):
43% Assault Rifle w/under barrel grenade launcher
29% Dual Katanas
17% Automatic Shotgun
12% Flamethrower
Most important to producing quality art is:
36% A cornucopia of drugs
33% A cacophony of unfulfilled deviant sexual desires
31% A chasm of emotional pain
Have you ever pulled, or had pulled on you, a sexual move deviant enough to have mention in urban dictionary?
60% No
40% Yes
If you could live the life of one of these fictional characters, you would choose:
39% Aragorn("Lord of the Rings")
24% Harry Potter ("Harry Potter")
20% Wolverine("X-Men"
17% Link("The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time")
You Consider Golf:
36% A hobby
29% A waste of 4 hours
24% A lawn game for people with big lawns
12% A sport
After years of intense martial arts training, an epic pursuit and a climactic duel, you celebrate decapitating your nemesis with:
50% A nearly imperceptible wry smile
21% An "into the sunset" slow motion stroll
12% A fist pump
12% A puerile pop-culture exclamation ("Fuck Yo Couch!", "How you like them Apples?", etc.).
5% The hammer walk
Soccer (Futbol) is:
33% The pinnacle of human athleticism. Seven miles per game with minimal subs is no joke
26% Cinematographic. Bicycle kicks anyone?
24% Unamerican. Tie game are for communists
17% Asinine. Let's take our best evolutionary advantage, the opposable thumb, and make its use a penalty.
Based purely on cinematographic beauty, the sport you'd most like to watch in the matrix would be:
45% Ultimate
21% Jai Alai
19% Soccer
10% Tennis
5% Football
The invention you're most excited for is:
64% Teleportation
21% Effective space colonization
10% A matter recombiner
5% Virtual reality video games
The purpose of your general fitness routine is to:
57% Justify all the burgers, beer, and bud.
21% Procure as much sexy time as possible
21% Destroy others with athletic prowess
This world would be a much happier place without:
36% Scientology
21% Vegans
17% Pants
10% Kanye West
10% Icky Bugs
7% Milwaukee's Best
The TV show "Sex in the City" tells women it's okay to be hormonal, irrational, have low-self esteem and act a little crazy on occasion. You believe:
66% Women need that assurance. Thinking one is crazy when it's not okay to act crazy makes one more crazy, inviting a downward spiral of crazy
34% This is bad, Crazy should not be encouraged.
notes: This question was intended to serve more as a veiled gender counter, figuring that any self respecting male surveyee would take advantage of an opportunity to bash Sex and the City while the women would stand up for the glamorization of empowered feminine crazy. This assumption however, after querying a few individuals, turned out to be entirely false so I now consider it merely a poignant commentary on gender differences.
45% Hilarious
29% Appalling
14% A Poignant Commentary on the Human Condition
7% Arousing
5% Ironic
If you were featured in a news headline defending your family from an armed intruder, you would like to be quoted as subduing him with:
40% A hand-crank egg beater
33% A match and mouthful of Bacardi 151
6% A Macintosh Mighty Mouse
5% A vinyl of Led Zeppelin IV
If you could make one automotive annoyance an offense punishable by public flogging you would choose:
40% Driving slowly in the left lane
29% Rubbernecking
24% Any unacceptable action performed while on the cell phone
7% Putting on your turn signal after you've begun your turn
If you sat down at your favorite restaurant to find the entree of the day is a Human Heart kabob, you would:
36% Ignore it but stay
26% Get One
19% Reverse psychology your date into getting one and try his/hers
19% Leave immediately, notifying the authorities
You would rather extremely talented at:
71% Parkour / General Ninjistics
19% Breakdancing
10% Flatland Skateboarding
You find being Rickrolled:
51% Still Pretty Funny
39% Meh
5% Orgasmic
5% Vomit Inducing
For the zombie uprising you'd prefer to dish out a plethora of zombie ass-kicking with the following armament (assume a surplus of ammunition although reload time must be considered):
43% Assault Rifle w/under barrel grenade launcher
29% Dual Katanas
17% Automatic Shotgun
12% Flamethrower
Most important to producing quality art is:
36% A cornucopia of drugs
33% A cacophony of unfulfilled deviant sexual desires
31% A chasm of emotional pain
Have you ever pulled, or had pulled on you, a sexual move deviant enough to have mention in urban dictionary?
60% No
40% Yes
If you could live the life of one of these fictional characters, you would choose:
39% Aragorn("Lord of the Rings")
24% Harry Potter ("Harry Potter")
20% Wolverine("X-Men"
17% Link("The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time")
You Consider Golf:
36% A hobby
29% A waste of 4 hours
24% A lawn game for people with big lawns
12% A sport
After years of intense martial arts training, an epic pursuit and a climactic duel, you celebrate decapitating your nemesis with:
50% A nearly imperceptible wry smile
21% An "into the sunset" slow motion stroll
12% A fist pump
12% A puerile pop-culture exclamation ("Fuck Yo Couch!", "How you like them Apples?", etc.).
5% The hammer walk
Soccer (Futbol) is:
33% The pinnacle of human athleticism. Seven miles per game with minimal subs is no joke
26% Cinematographic. Bicycle kicks anyone?
24% Unamerican. Tie game are for communists
17% Asinine. Let's take our best evolutionary advantage, the opposable thumb, and make its use a penalty.
Based purely on cinematographic beauty, the sport you'd most like to watch in the matrix would be:
45% Ultimate
21% Jai Alai
19% Soccer
10% Tennis
5% Football
The invention you're most excited for is:
64% Teleportation
21% Effective space colonization
10% A matter recombiner
5% Virtual reality video games
The purpose of your general fitness routine is to:
57% Justify all the burgers, beer, and bud.
21% Procure as much sexy time as possible
21% Destroy others with athletic prowess
This world would be a much happier place without:
36% Scientology
21% Vegans
17% Pants
10% Kanye West
10% Icky Bugs
7% Milwaukee's Best
The TV show "Sex in the City" tells women it's okay to be hormonal, irrational, have low-self esteem and act a little crazy on occasion. You believe:
66% Women need that assurance. Thinking one is crazy when it's not okay to act crazy makes one more crazy, inviting a downward spiral of crazy
34% This is bad, Crazy should not be encouraged.
notes: This question was intended to serve more as a veiled gender counter, figuring that any self respecting male surveyee would take advantage of an opportunity to bash Sex and the City while the women would stand up for the glamorization of empowered feminine crazy. This assumption however, after querying a few individuals, turned out to be entirely false so I now consider it merely a poignant commentary on gender differences.
Resurrection
Obligatory resurrection excitement post and witty but sincere apology for not posting for an extended period of time.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Survey for the Discerning
With the academic hours long, and the days progressively shorter, I find myself on the introspective side of my general mood cycle. With the proverbial lens turned inward, several questions have surfaced for which I find myself unable to provide an effective answer. And so, I post them to all those willing to lend me their minds and hearts in assistance and able to help me overcome several philosophical hurdles that on tackled on my own, have proven onerous and emotionally draining.
http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/?p=WEB229P2TFC6TY
Results to be posted here at a later time.
http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/?p=WEB229P2TFC6TY
Results to be posted here at a later time.
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