1) Dirty Sanchez: Take a romantic vacation in Acapulco, go mud hiking all day, then fall asleep cuddling during an intimate bath in a five star resort.
2) The Switcharoo: Get a massage table and commence supreme oily backrub. Midtask, preferably when your vast skillset puts your better half to sleep, have a close friend of yours swap in. Stealthily leave, prepare an intimiate candlelight dinner in a romantic setting, and put on a suit/dress. Signal to your friend to wake up your sleeping mate and indicate that "The sir/madame is waiting for you in the great hall." Score relationship points.
3) The Houdini: During that heightened moment in a sexual encounter where your partner ceases to understand the world around him/her and can only yell "yes" on repeat, propose marriage.
4) Cleveland Steamer: Move to Cleveland, date an immensely zealous sports fan, and wait for either the Browns, Bengals, Cavaliers, or the Indians to win a championship. Go to the celebration parade, and introduce your significant other to the star player of whatever team took home the gold, and watch her spontanously combust. Then poop on her chest.
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