Techno Comments

Youtube comments have always provided an avenue for venting one's unfiltered steam of consciousness or general feelings on a specific subject. Mutual appreciators of a certain video have a unique opportunity to broadcast their thoughts in an unbiased, like-minded environment of relative anonymity. Obviously the haters of the world will always opt for a verbal defenestration of whatever comes their way is anyone's guess, (I imagine Freudian butt piracy or some such but that will be the topic of another post) but that hasn't stopped many a fan from posting his or her honest thoughts. I offer you a small sample gleaned from a quick glance through several of my favorite Techno/Trance/Rave tunes:

Infected Mushroom - Vicious Delicious - "Heavyweight"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXjNB43WRBk)
"Many times on very high cocktails of drugs I have had psychosis to this track. Like pure brain error. "
"Baked or fucked up drunk, what matters is that this is a modern symphony "
"Listening to this if like having a fight against your body to avoid cumming. But at the end you will cum and wet your pants....no matter what you do..... "

DJ Tiesto - "Adajio for strings"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcrN06Oo4so)
"Id be fuckin rolling face here holy shit. AMAZING!!! "
"i just shpunkened everywhere!"
"this guy is awesome!!! ahhh fuck i think i just skeeted in my jeans!! :-0 "

Armin Van Buuren - "Imagine"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGC-rhzXg70)
"The part with piano was like bullets to my mind :O Armin 4 Life !"
"Relaxed, Hands in the air, Let Go, Embrace, Love, Laugh, Dance, No Stress, No Worry, Release, Washed up in clear water of music that comes from Armin Van Buuren"

Now don't get me wrong, I love my Trance as much as the next Eurotrashophile in line however, these people experience music on a totally different plane than I do. I feel like I've spent my whole life on my 13-speed schwinn, assuming hitting 50 on a steep downhill was the climax the world was built for, then having some scatter-brained technofreak scream by me with an intercontinental ballistic missile rammed up his ass exclaiming, "PURE BRAIN ERROR! I JUST SKEETED MY JEANS".
I take my musical taste seriously enough to consider myself more than your typical dilettante however, it appears my knowledge is not the shortcoming in my musical experience but rather the physical acceptance and resulting expression. I have been privy to many a mind-bending musical experience but never to the jean shpunkening level these listeners seem to enjoy their tunes.

People we can all aspire to: The Techno Viking

Germany's 2000 occurrence of Fuckparade, Berlin's counterculture alternative protest to its yearly "Love Parade", saw an entirely unique anomaly on a scale never again attainable in the future of human kind. Fuckparade is known for it's techno and Drum n' Bass beats echoing from parked vans and 3rd story sound systems, during which those protesting the heavily commercialized Love Parade can choose to express themselves through dance in honor of Berlin's true soul.

In 2000, a relatively minor altercation began when a bluehaired raver found herself in the path of a Dionysian stumble. The drunk would not back off and something sinister seemed in the making however, a miracle came to pass. A man, nay, a demi-god, to this day known only as Techno Viking split the altercation up and sent the wayward drunk on his way with a menacing stare that could make Chuck Norris soil his umpteenth degree blackbelt. The Techno Viking then proceeded to dance his way down the street in a manner I will leave it to the video to describe. Regardless he, represents something we can all look up to, demonstrating his candid chivalry, stalwart uprightness and a desire to dance no matter how absurd one's move set may be.

Enjoy:
Our Feature Presentation

Wakeup Tuneage

I take my mornings very seriously. 8 hours of sleep, 10oz of tropicana and a sufficiently sugary cereal all compose the day's overture, and if disturbed, can wreck havoc on my psyche and physical state alike. I firmly believe the moment of awakening, the casting off the warm ocean of sleep, paints your entire day. Rising next to a bonnie lass, rays of sunlight etching your field of vision and to the smell and sound of sizzling bacon will surely cast your entire day in resplendence. The feeling of levity will undoubtedly last through your entire 9-5 grind.
Now that being said, my radio station of choice needs to reevaluate it's 7:30am tune selection. I have, over the last three days been woken up to:

1) Pitbull - "Calle Ocho" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2tMV96xULk
2) MC hammer- "U Can't touch this" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo
3) Outhere Brothers - "Boom Boom Boom" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqHQ_wWbG9Y

These three songs, although quality tunes in their own right, call into question both the sense of humor and mental state of this station's morning DJ. Pitbull is by no means considered early morning tuneage by any stretch of the imagination and lead me to believe that he DJ's song selection fell under the influence of something other than popular request.