Pseudoscience

If I had superpowers, I would definitely use them for ill. Now, I'm loathe to admit that I lack said supernaturals as I definitely would have thrown a levitating glowstick goo rave or a "wow I wonder why it's 95 degrees in December" party or some such. The closest thing I have, which I try to take advantage of on the regular, is the one boon a bio undergrad degree and a year of PhD work has given me, the ability to spout immensely believable pseudoscience like a champ.

Riding on a bus last fall with several bio peers all armed with textbooks intimidating enough to be considered tomes, a fellow commuter asked “hey do you guys do, like, weird science?” So, revving up some serious charisma and a solid, no-bullshit 'I'm obviously a genius in the subject' voice, I told him the first thing that popped into my mind. Paraphrased: “Well, I'm currently deeply involved in the study of biomagnetism, that being the study of how certain species can both sense and utilize the Earth's magnetic field or in rare occasions, exude magnetic forces of their own. Did you know cattle have been observed to line up north to south when grazing?”

Pseudoscience followed, along with a rather convincing explanation of the early Amish Compass, and how the Amish discovered a lone dairy cow on a canoe in a sufficiently still body of water will point north. Truthfully, I think I freaked him out a little bit. He probably has nightmares of a cabal of labcoated madmen turning welsh corgi puppies into WMDs.